Through The Darkness Into The Light

In the midst of the terrible darkness of the ongoing atrocities in Ukraine, this week’s Sunday service in my local church was like a ray of light. It was the first family service I have attended in nearly two years, and it was made all the more wonderful by the inclusion of both a child and adult baptism. For the first time in far too loo long, the liturgy was interlaced with the sounds of children playing. And as sunlight streamed through stained glass, it was if spring had entered the church bringing with it light and hope.

As we sang the wonderful anthem ‘Give me joy in my heart keep me praising’, I felt a mixture of vivid emotions; a sense of guilt at the unexpected joy that was rising in my heart when I know that so many are suffering so appalling as a result of the ongoing conflict not only in Ukraine, in other places of pain such as Yemen, as well at those brought down by mental and physical sickness. At the same time I also felt also a deep sense of gratitude that joy can still be experienced in the midst of the darkness that engulfs the world. And as the candidates came to the ancient font to take part in the symbolic immersion in the waters of life, I was reminded of a profound experience I had when I was so very ill with sepsis during my early chemotherapy treatment.

As I lay in hospital drifting in and out of consciousness, it was as though I was far out at sea, trying swim desperately amidst the churning waves until eventually I no longer had the strength to stay afloat. At which point something within me said ‘surrender’. And as I ceased to battle against the tide, I sank below the waters, deeper and deeper, away from the light, into the darkness of the depths, until finally I came to rest on the distant ocean floor. And there, in that liminal space, I began to feel the undeniable presence of God, holding me, comforting me, until finally, as the infection receded, I began to rise up as he lifted me back up into the light.

And this week, after watching the age old ritual of baptism, I have been reflecting on the truth, that we all have to pass through our own darkness before we can brought back up into the light. That like Christ we have to pass through the shadow of death, in order to share in, and be re-born to his resurrection life. Sometimes that darkness is within us, in the form of our doubts and our fears, but sometimes tragically that darkness seems to threaten life itself, whether from sickness or the evil of oppression.

But the hope that is symbolised by baptism is that even when it seems as if all light of hope has been extinguished, that he – the God who has suffered – is with us, and that the Almighty, can use even the most ghastly of circumstances to bring new life.

So my prayer now is for all who find themselves in the depths of darkness – the victims of conflict in Ukraine and elsewhere, any who are existing in hunger, fear and despair, and anyone for whom tomorrow seems so uncertain - that they will know his presence with them, and that they too will be lifted back up in to the light.

Kate Nicholas is a preacher, Christian author, broadcaster and consultant. Her best-selling memoir Sea Changed is an account of her unconventional journey of faith and previous healing from advanced cancer.

Her latest book Soul’s Scribe draws on scripture, philosophy, psychology and over 20 years’ of reflection as a Christian communicator to take you on a journey through the various chapters of your soul story, providing you with the tools to share that story in a way that will inspire and encourage others.

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Photo by Josh Applegate on Unsplash