Significant encounters on this journey through cancer and healing

I apologise that these ‘travel’ reflections on my journey through cancer are likely to be somewhat sporadic based upon my levels of energy and coherence – but today I feel called to share what God has been laying on my heart.

Those of you who read my last blog will be aware that my chemotherapy treatment got off to a rather rocky start, culminating in my admission to hospital with zero immune system and sepsis.

Thanks to the ministering angels at Milton Keynes University Hospital, after five days in isolation, my infection was brought under control and my white cell count returned to a more normal level. And mercifully, at the end of last week, I was judged fit enough to have a second reduced cycle of the chemotherapy required to stop this cancer in its tracks.

To say that I feel grateful feels woefully inadequate. I am so profoundly thankful for the amazing care of the NHS staff - I am truly in awe of their professionalism, caring and sheer resilience. And I am so grateful for the prayers of family and friends near and far.

I can’t imagine how it must feel to go through a challenge such as this without the ability to bring your situation to God in prayer. The sheer idea of facing this battle alone is just so overwhelming and exhausting; and ultimately a recipe for fear and anxiety - the dark nights of the soul that creep upon us in the midnight hours.

The reality is that anyone on this journey will sometimes be alone. Even with supportive family, friends and medical staff, there are going to be moments when we are left with our own thoughts. But at these times, ‘the Lord is near to all who call on him (Psalm 145:18) - not an abstract concept but the person of Jesus who has, himself, been through every type of suffering imaginable; betrayal, rejection, fear, despair, terrible pain and death.

In fact, perhaps the most extraordinary fact of Christianity is that, in Jesus, we have a God who has actually experienced, and comes to meet us, in our suffering. He is there beside us in the darkness.

On my own healing journey, perhaps the most powerful experiences I have had of his presence has been through a form of ‘encounter prayer’ developed by the Christian Healing Mission (CHM).

The idea of encounter prayer is deceptively simple – it is about resting Jesus’s promise that he ‘will be with us always’. (Matt 28:20) and asking ourselves where is Jesus for us right now - but the experience can be incredibly powerful. For some the sense of presence can be quite a physical, for others visual or some just others just a sense of peace.

I first experienced such an encounter, six years ago after my first cancer diagnosis. I confess that I approached the encounter few expectations. As an ex journalist I had all sceptical filters well and truly intact and the few times I had tried ‘visualisation’ in the past I had only seen the inside of my eyelids. But this time, as I relaxed into the experience, a face began to emerge in my mind’s eye.

It was not a particularly attractive face; ruddy and brown framed by unruly dark hair and an untamed beard, with dense low eyebrows, a large stub nose, and thick lips – bearing no resemblance to the Victorian images of Christ that I had grown up with. It was actually a little unnerving.

But the true significance of this encounter was only revealed to me a couple of years later, when I came across an article in a National Geographic magazine about an anthropologist who had reconstructed what is believed to be the real face of Christ. As I turned the page I nearly dropped the magazine in shock, as there staring out at me from the pages was the same face that I had encountered in prayer. It shook my cynicism. And so on this new journey, I am once again actively seeking this encounter.

It isn’t always easy. I know that Christ is with me, that his Spirit accompanies me, but I cannot always see him clearly. But when I need him most he comes to me.

When I was laid low by the first round of chemotherapy, I reached out for him – and he was there. In my mind’s eye, he pulled me to my feet and walked with me along the shorelines of my memory until we came to an estuary. As the sand sloped downwards, he urged me forward until I was out of my depths, the waves beginning to rise over my head.

But as I began to sink, his hand reached down to me and drew me up through the waters, until beside him on a high rock, looking out over an endless horizon; conscious that I had been given a not only refuge but the opportunity to see my situation from a different perspective – His.

t is easy to dismiss such experiences as wishful thinking, or the product of a fevered mind, but true encounter seem to say with us and to be reinforced other ways. This image, for example, keeps coming to me through scripture (e.g. Psalms 27:5; 61:2) and in particular these vivid words from Psalm 40:

‘I waited patiently for the Lord;

he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.’ (v1-2).

And it is this that convinces me that encounters such as these are so much more than just the fevered imaginings of the mind. And for that I am so profoundly grateful.

If you are interested in learning more about or experiencing Encounter Prayer I really encourage you to visit https://www.encounterprayer.net where you can access various resources including encounter prayer guided meditations in a variety of languages or even join an Encounter Prayer group.

Kate Nicholas is a Christian author, broadcaster and preacher. Her best-selling memoir Sea Changed (shortlisted as Christian Biography of the Year 2017) is an account of her unconventional journey of faith and previous healing from advanced cancer.

Kate has gone on to share her message of hope through her TV series on premiere Christian TV channel TBN Living a Transformed Life , speaking events, online courses and bible studies including Sea Changed: A Companion Guide for individuals and groups which helps people to see how God uses all the circumstances of their lives to transform them.

Her latest book, Soul’s Scribe: Connecting Your Story With God’s Narrative , draws on scripture, philosophy, psychology and over 20 years reflection as a Christian communicator to take you on a journey through the various chapters of your soul story, providing you with the tools to share that story in a way that will inspire and encourage others.

Her books are widely available at Christian bookstores and online sites including eden.co.uk, Aslan Christian Books, Waterstones and Amazon worldwide.

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