A Glimpse of the Kingdom 

Well, I am home again after another stay in hospital with yet more chemotherapy complications- resurrected courtesy of our amazing NHS.

I won’t go into why I ended up in hospital because I really don’t want to scare anyone about to embark on chemotherapy. My experience seems to have been particularly harsh (ironically I am finding this a lot harder than when I was treated for stage IV cancer seven years ago) but that does not mean that this will be everybody’s experience.

Chemo certainly isn’t a barrel of laughs, but it is perfectly possible to get through the treatment as a fully functioning human being. That just doesn’t seem to be the type of journey that I’ve been called to go on this time.

I must admit that when I was admitted to Ward 1 in Milton Keynes University Hospital late on Sunday night, I did find myself wondering why this journey has to be quite so hard. I know that ‘in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose’ (Rom 8:28) but on that first night I found it hard to grasp exactly what purpose was being served by this latest health calamity.

Caring and Compassion

Trying to sleep on an acute ward is rather like trying to take a nap in the middle of Piccadilly Circus in rush hour. Seriously ill people are admitted throughout the night – many scared and confused; a slight girl in her early 20s with a collapsed lung, a middle aged woman pulled back from the brink of an overdose, an elderly woman struggling to breath and vomiting up blood. The air is filled with bewilderment and pain. One woman cries out ‘help me’ every couple of minutes from 2.00 a.m. until she is finally moved to a specialist respiratory ward the following day. Sleep is not really an option.

There are moments of dark humour. A lady who is obviously suffering from dementia spots my bald head and begins to scream to the nurses that there is a man in the bay and to get me out of there. I try to assure her that I am woman, but to no avail!

The context is challenging to say the very least but each and every person who is admitted to the ward is treated with the most extraordinary kindness and caring. Every cry for help – no matter how often it is repeated – is responded to with almost preternatural patience by the staff who appear at bedsides like ministering angels.

Every interaction is respectful, considerate even loving - as these amazing people care for, heal, feed, clean and comfort their – not always grateful – charges. From staff nurses to domestic staff, healthcare assistants to ward housekeepers, porters to ward clerks; I never once saw a glimmer of impatience or frustration even at the end of a 12 hours shift. Rather I witnessed extraordinary resilience, selflessness and compassion - the compassion of Christ.

The Hollow Hand Clap

There was however great sadness when the staff spoke about the impact of the pandemic. After five days, I was moved to Ward 2 which was apparently the first ward to be deployed for Covid cases at this hospital. A healthcare assistant described the terrifyingly chaos of the first wave of patients at the beginning of last year, and talked of colleagues and patients lost to this terrible disease. She admitted that she has been very afraid, but felt driven to carry on caring even after she herself had almost died from severe Covid.

I asked about how she felt about national hand clap for NHS, and, although she didn’t say so, I sensed that the claps had rung rather hollow after the first couple of weeks, particularly in the context of the subsequent pay deal. She didn’t sound angry – just sad.

For a short period of time, the extraordinary selflessness of NHS staff rose up in the public consciousness and they were accorded the status of heroes. But the world is already moving on and the public now seem more worried about whether they will be able to go on a foreign holiday this year. Meanwhile, these incredible people continue to care for us day in, day out – and night in, night out – when we are at our most vulnerable with a seemingly inexhaustible compassion. And as I watched their labours of love, I began to understand a little better the purpose of me being here.

I could not do what they do, I know I don’t have it within me, but what I can do is to write about them. I have likened this blog to a travel journal; a record of the landscapes that I pass through and the lessons that God is teaching me. So far many of my observations have been about my inner landscape, partly because going through chemotherapy in the context of Covid is inevitably a rather isolating experience. But in this context, I realised that God has been encouraging to me lift my head, to look around and to pay closer attention to those around me.

And in these hospital wards, I realise I have been granted a glimpse of His Kingdom; a diverse community of caring, selfless people, relentlessly putting others’ needs before their own and doing so with such kindness, compassion and even love. A community of people who, in our upside down society, are some of the least materially recognised; while corporate CEOs peddling fast food and superfluous consumer goods receive mind boggling pay cheques and celebrities bask in untold recognition.

It seems so grossly unfair, and I strongly believe that justice demands a proper pay rise for all NHS staff right now. But the Bible also tell us that the the upside down values of our world will be corrected in God's Kingdom. As Jesus said, in his Kingdom ‘the first will be last and the last will be first’ (Matt 20:16). All those who have scrabbled so hard to secure the best seats at the top table will be asked to give up their seats to those who deserve it most in society.

And when that day comes, it will be those who have cared, healed, fed, cleaned and comforted when we needed them who will be seated alongside our Lord in the places of honour.

Kate Nicholas is a Christian author, broadcaster and preacher. Her best-selling memoir Sea Changed (shortlisted as Christian Biography of the Year 2017) is an account of her unconventional journey of faith and previous healing from advanced cancer.

Kate has gone on to share her message of hope through her TV series on premiere Christian TV channel TBN Living a Transformed Life , speaking events, online courses and bible studies including Sea Changed: A Companion Guide for individuals and groups which helps people to see how God uses all the circumstances of their lives to transform them.

Her latest book, Soul’s Scribe: Connecting Your Story With God’s Narrative , draws on scripture, philosophy, psychology and over 20 years reflection as a Christian communicator to take you on a journey through the various chapters of your soul story, providing you with the tools to share that story in a way that will inspire and encourage others.

Catch up on Kate's journey to date and subscribe to follow her progress at Kate’s blog

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay